Monday July 25, 2011. In the begining of this blog I declared to my readers I would reveal the secrets of my soul and the cause of the scars that riddle my heart , that time has come. The truth of the matter is that I am a sinner. You see my dear reader once upon a time I was a blessed man , blessed with a wife and two children.Blessed with a good career and many nice things. For fourteen years I lived a happily married man and father. Love surrounded me and my family until, well until the devil came . It is belived that when the Devil attacks a family he attacks the weakest member. I was the weakest and the attack came and kept coming. The Devil , a master of disguises came to me in the form of a beautiful woman during a time when my marriage was in turmoil. Instead of being a strong man for my family I chose to let my emotions control my thoughts . It is one thing to entertain a thought you know is not wise , but to act on that thought a wise man would not. An affair happened , slowly and methodicaly I fell deeply in love with my devil . She was everything I dreamed a woman would be and more. She smiled at the right time touched my hand just in a nick of time and kissed me with such passion it could be nothing but love. It was a trick though, a plan to kill, destroy and ruin a life , lives.I fell for the con and the lies just as hard as those that trusted and loved me fell for my lies. Everything started as calm and gentle as a feather falling to the ground then gradually the noose began to tighten. I began to spend more time with the sedductress and with the more time spent with her the more money also. Soon all I wanted was to spend time with my new addiction giving her all my attention unaware that she was infiltrating my soul and my heart. The situation turning me into a zombie, neglecting my wife and my children ultimitly leaving them like they never exsisted. I moved far away from my home to live with the sedductress and to feed my addiction wich was the attention she showered upon me. Months went by never once speaking to my son or my daughter , they were but just a thought at times a thought I quickly surpressed. Eventually I was in a whipsaw ( pulled in two directions at the same time ) a battle of good and evil raged inside me giving way yet again to the sedductress and her trick.They say God will bring you to a place to gain your attention and heart after he lets you fall and I am here to tell you how ever violent your fall, he is falling with you no matter how silent he seems and alone and helpless you feel and that my friends is exactly the place he wants you, to get your attention. The place God captured my full attention was prison . Alone , broken and just a shell of myself I was ashamed and lost. Through this dark time wich lasted two long years I gave up and attempted suicide. Placed in the prisons infermery for my cowardly actions I laid there handcuffed to my bed for days .Its was well after midnite one evening when I awoke from a nightmare and finally called out for help to Jesus and on that late lonly night Jesus answered and lifted me out of the dark. Placed back into population I began to write all of my feelings down .Then strange but good things began to happen , a prison guard gave me a stack of legal pads to write on and other inmates purchased me pens to write with so I did not have to use the small prison issued pencils.Before I knew it I had something , with all the writing I created a book. Other inmates read it and so did a very special prison guard who shared a story about her father who was in prison for murder and who wrote a book himself .She told me not to give up that she enjoyed reading what I had written . Dont give up she repreated, God is there for you even if all seems lost, he loves you she said with such conviction. Put it in his hands ask for his help and it will come. I did , and today I am not just a published author and successful chef I am blessed to hold my daughter once again to see her smile to be her father. Things are takeing more time with my son but with prayer , patience and doing the right things the day will come when I can hold him in my arms too. Once again I am a blessed man for I was lost but now I am found. Through Jesus all things are possible , all things........ Just dont give up , because on that lost and lonely day it could be the day you find him.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
For days now creativity and inspiration have been stagnent within me , in there place tiredness ,aggravation and worry was the wave that washed over me , until this evening. I spoke to my daughter for the first time in a while " Hi DADDY!" she shouted in that wonderfully beautiful voice God has given her . We talked about Taylor Swift , Smurphs and Justin Bieber, she told me in a rather perterbed voice that she did have a seizure a few nights ago, that statement prompted a spark in my heart and a fire in my belly burning away the those negative feelings bringing to surface once again creativity and inspiration. After saying goodnight my daughter told me she loved me in that wonderfully beautiful voice that God has given her and now I continue on with Knight in the Forest of the Pons ( Journey to the Syndrome ) ..... Where love not the sword is the weapon of choice.
Knight in the Forest of the Pons
If you do not know oh fairest among women ,your beauty is rare like priceless porcelain , and I will tell you what is hidden behind my armor of secrets and why you are forbidden.
As you bathed in the tree lined brook
with sunbeams reaming through leaves that shook , I was there .. upon my black horse admiring you
Never , in all my days have I witnessed such a site
birds stopped singing , the wind stopped whispering and even a mother and her fawn laid quiet listening to your song
Oh fairest amongst women , I have been in battles against two headed dragons , with beast that creep and crawl , with fierce lions that have pierced my flesh in death brawls
but never has my body trembled or my nerves shook as they did that afternoon
I watched you bathe in the tree lined brook.
Sitting upon my horse my armor shining with force I was as timid as that protected fawn , your slave , your pawn.
With maidens rushing to me like a tide and my kings sword by my side I only desired you under that sunny sky,
But you are the untouchable one and I, Knight in the Forest of the Pons
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Hello all , follow along wont you. When I wrote Tear Avenger my inspiration came from a woman I meet who was a victim , Human Trafficked , raped , abused and force feed a diet of heroin by her captures. Victoria, her name as the character in my book explained to me her story. It was easy for me to visualize the torment she went through , I was able to see her facial expressions , able to witness her cries and sobbing , the anger in her voice and the bruises that covered her face . But the scars that were locked deep within her soul are what I had to uncover. This was done with research about human trafficking and the symptoms that come with it. Also I used a writers greatest tool , imagination. Thus was the story of Tear Avenger and on my blog and social media sites I updated my fans with basically tid bits . Tear Avenger was a learning experiance for me as a writer and what I have learned from writing that novella and from Victoria is truth.That truth involves both the quality of faithfulness,fidelity,loyalty, sincerity and veracity. So, as I prepare to pen Knight in the Forest of the Pons I feel compelled to unlock the scars of my own heart and share the secrets of my soul. Why ? you may ask, well , I see the need to connect to my readers , to share with them who I am and how I arrived to the place I am in my life at this time . Also I want to share with you my writing process an in depth step by step of how I research , concentrate and dream about my writings . I see things in my daily life in a differnt light than others and my brain is constantly processing the data forcing me to pull over if I am driving or to wake if I am dreaming and jot down ideas , visions , feelings ect.... it could be a sunset or the color of the flame I am cooking with during my day job as a Chef where ideas or inspiration comes from.But for The Knight in the Forest of the Pons the inspiration came from a very dear and special source a victim in her own right , my daughter, who at birth was born with a monster in her midst. This monster a syndrome named Sturge Weber who they say will haunt her for all her life . A monster for all her fifteen years I as her father wanted to destroy and give my daughter a normal life. To rid her of the symptoms that plaque her daily life and give her the ability to run on a moon struck shoreline in her bare feet with the cool sand squishing between her cute little toes. The idea for Knight in the Forest of the Pons ( Journey to the Syndrome) came to me one late evening back in 1996 when my wife and I were bed side with our daughter at Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia. Her sympyoms finaly diagnosed that day as being Sturge Weber syndrome http://www.bing.com/health/article/naturalstandard-126018/SturgeWeber-syndrome?q=sturge-weber+syndrome the monster finaly revealed and I feeling the urgency to be the white knight and rescue the princess from the monsters tight grip. Follow along dear reader as I share with you this story of a fathers prayer and a litte girl whose determination and strenght will amaze you and inspire you to never , ever give up. The Knight in the Forest of the Pons ( Journey to the Syndrome ) where love not the sword is the weapon of choice .
Monday, July 4, 2011
Some have asked , what do I use for inspiration and where do the concepts for my stories come from ? Well, useually a memory , a vivid dream or nightmare can spark my creative juices to flow. I use an array of different music types to put my mind where it needs to be when writing a certain chapter , paragraph or even a simple sentence . For the opening chapter of Knight in the Forest of the Pons ( Attack of the Moon Eaters ) I envisoned a brutal fight sceen against the knights of Sperenza and a sect of dragons that only emerge during an eclipse.In my minds eye I could see , hear and smell the action but to put those feeling in words , entertaining and articulate words I researched the internet and my trusty thesaurus for the words and mood to put the reader into the action . It is important to me that the readers sences are hightened . Heartbeat racing , smellng the blood and fire and hearing the flapping of dragon wings and the galloping of the Knights horses barreling through a foggy forest at twilight. I discovered in my research a CG company named Aion. Their claim to fame , video games , video games with awesome graphics and music set to ignite any emotion. So it is here in the land of Aion where I wrote Attack of the Moon Eaters . .....Coming up next an exerpt from Chapter one, Attack of the Moon Eaters.....
Time - in the minute beginnings of life
So intricately delicate and precise
There, floating, hidden in secret
Within your light proof room
Thriving! Alive! Love consumed,
Blanketed under a nocturnal dreaming
A human composition the mighty one is weaving
Not unlike a pilgrim in a strange place
You grow with grace
With a whisper and with a hush
You are made of spiritual dust
Tell me tiny seed, what is your planets sound?
Is your world as quiet as a flower pushing through the ground?
Following your charted course a ballet of sorts
With whirling pirouettes and elegant minuets
This dance you do Jesus
A beautiful miracle,
Eyes have shown, feet and hands have bloomed
The heart flutters and the brain, ah yes, the brain, it perceives!
Can one believe? A child conceived
Welcome one of a kind creation
So tonite I wrote , and the story of Knight in the Forest of the Pons has begun. I wrote of threatening dragons who feed on virgin blood and warrior Knights who battle to the death, but when I retreated outside for a break it was past the midnite hour . Stars were out in force and the moon,oh the mighty moon was shining beautifully full and all of a sudden my words felt so trivial. All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
Friday, July 1, 2011
The Moon eaters live in nodes located in celestial spheres that when the moon is tilted on the plane of the ecliptic it has an inclination of about five degrees. As the Sun orbits on its own ecliptic and the moon in its own orbit is inclined on the ecliptic the two line up with one more body, earth. An eclipse is formed unlocking the gates of the nodes thus releasing the Moon Eaters to feed so they can live on to the next Eclipse. Galloping through the burned out forest of Spereza hundreds of warrior Knights are in combat with the Moon Eaters